I have personally been through so many things with different people. From when I could start remembering things my twin sister cut me with a razor blade. I have no idea where she got it from. I believe I had to be around two years old. My dad put a band aid on me and sent me on my way. That was the first negative memory I had of my sister with many more negative ones to follow. Not to mention with, my mother, aunt, uncle, and cousin. I have had to learn through every negative interaction I was not meant to be around a lot of the members of my family. They were killing me slowly. I felt like they were treating me different from my sister. From starting this blog I have decided to stay away from her. From what I have experienced of her she likes to have all of the attention placed on her and gets very upset if a little bit of it goes to me. I had to make my mother tell her to get out of the bathroom because she wanted to curl her hair while I was taking a bath. At that very moment, I felt like she would not care if I died or was electracuted. This was one of the many signs I received from God that I need to distance myself from her. It took me a really long time to see the light because my heart is not exactly set up like hers. She has been way more sisterly to people who are not related to her and has treated me like trash. She calls to see how the trash so to speak is doing and some strange reason she expects me not to thrive from all of the crazy things she has done to me over the years. I want her to read this post and speculate if this is about her and see I am doing well and thriving without her. Thank you Lord for showing me the way.

I have used the chaos to show me how to be a better person towards people. I have always known deep down that showing anger or hate to a person was never a way to treat them. I have done my best to learn how to reset my mind to always focus on the positive. I know now my brain is very powerful and where my attention goes is where my focus flows. I can be super focused on things. I have learned to train my attention to focus on positive things. I have to be by myself a lot because this is how I am set up. Many people may not understand this but it does me a great deal to let my body recharge and heal by being alone. I have been around people who did not mean me well. I think the lesson in all of the chaos was to be by myself and not focus on being around other people who did not mean me well off the bat.

I have taken time to fall in love with myself and only work on the things that bring me peace and solitude. I make sure to read, write, drink tea, eat dark chocolate, or meditate. The negative things I have been through have definitly been a blessing and lesson in my life. I am truly grateful to have gone through the experiences I have encountered with people to get me to a totally new head space. I thank all of my haters for showing me how to get to this place in my life. I have no cares for any one but myself. Thank you for the chaos.