I seem to meet people who are habitual line steppers as Dave Chapelle would say. I think this is totally disrespectful to the person and their boundaries a person overlooks or just chooses not to respect them. I for one, am happy the habitual line steppers chose to over step my boundaries because it means they do not need to be in my circle. I don’t have any friends or family members I am close to at this point in my life. I think this is a lesson for myself to become closer to my true self. There is no way a person will respect who I am as a person if they do not listen to a boundary I have set for myself. I like to be a lone a lot. I am totally happy in my own company.

In high school I was by myself a lot. I did not really care or focus on having friends. Anytime I would open myself up to having friends it felt as though they felt they had to be in competition with me or I was trying to be better than them. I was only being myself. I can say being around others they totally did not understand my personality. I do not think this was on accident or anything for them to understand. It has been totally up to me to go into the corners of my mind to extract who I am with no apologies to anyone. Even my own Doctor said I was an enigma. I started to think I had barely scratched the surface of learning who I am if he actually told me that. I think from encountering people who do not respect my boundaries has been a lesson to fall in love with myself first before I try and involve myself in a friendship. As I mentioned earlier in a blog, I have encountered people who notice all sorts of things about me but I have never picked up on this about to myself. I think this is due to having a parent who totally did not accept me as a child or anything about me. I feel now it is up to me to get to know who I am as a person and fall in love with the person who I have been deprived of all these years. I think I am not at a place to have friends. Its okay with me. I need to be a friend to myself and respect my own property line. To me, it means to learn who I am as a person, develop my gifts, talents, and abilities. On my journey during the pandemic, I am willing to take the journey and see where I end up when I reach my destination. I may need to take several routes but there is no one way to get there. What I am not going to do is step on my own property line and disrespect my own growth and discourage myself from doing anything. What I do intend to do is be there for myself and be my own best friend as said by Beyonce.