For as long as I can remember there have been people around me who wanted to hinder my progress. It was almost as if my progress hurt their soul to the white meat. I did not realize it at the time but looking back it seems as if they were not okay with the progress I was making or what I was capable of doing. This became apparent to me when I would try to get off of the phone this particular person would try to hem me up so I would be on the phone with them a little while longer. It made me feel like it was not okay with them, for me, to do my own thing, attend to my own needs, or have a thought for myself. It got to the point where this so called friend did not want me to advance any further in my life more than where they were. I decided I would give them any warning when I was going to cut off the friendship. It was unbearable, because I was being held captive by someone who did not want me to reach my greatest potential.

Looking back, I can remember when I was in the 5th grade a person who claimed to be my friend took a classmates word processor and hid it in my desk. While we were in gym class this so called friend told me she hid it in my desk. At the time, I did not know what to say or do because it was a huge mess. The guidance counselor automatically blamed it on my sister and addressed her about it. I kept my mouth shut because it was all out of control. Until this very day, I no longer speak with the person who did that to me. There were several instances that showed me this person hated my soul because they were not me. The incident was also a lesson for me to stay away from people like that.

I recently had to make a tough decision to stop speaking to family members because they too did not want to see me get to my full potential. I just decided to stop caring about being in a toxic family and started to care about loving myself to the depths and the core. I decided was going to heal myself.

The sabotaging spirits I encountered taught me focus on myself. Them toxic people in my life focused on causing me harm to the point where it was psychological. As a result, I am not going to allow myself to be in a relationship, friendship or with a family member who does not value me. No more I say no more.